A wise man once told me that you either get your excuses or get your dreams in life. You can’t get both of them.
At that time, I was slacking around, making excuses for not getting shit done. I used to binge-watch shows, spend hours on non-productive activities. When anyone asked why none of my projects or work was moving forward, I made excuses. That wise man was telling me the truth. As I had opted to get my excuses, I wasn’t getting my dreams.
I had a lot of dreams, no shortage of goals and plans. The shortage was of action. I loved talking the talk, but when it came to walking the talk. I was…let’s say, not such a great walker. I always had an excuse. The procrastinator in me was very powerful and had total authority over my actions.
Want to read more about the procrastinator in me? Read this blog post where he got uncomfortably featured.
When that wise man told me that I could either get my excuses or my dreams, I immediately said, I choose my dreams. It wasn’t as easy as choosing, I had to do something about it, and that’s the biggest trap of a procrastinator in you. If you ever want to do something and you say to yourself, this is something I must do, let me Google what everyone says about it so I can do it in the best possible way, that’s a RED flag. The disease of procrastination infects you. It always wants you to read and get information overload, so you get overwhelmed and do nothing. The best way to cure yourself of that disease is to take immediate action.
Yet I didn’t do that, as the “procrastinator AQ” was very powerful at that time. During one of my googling sessions discovered a medium article talking about doing a life audit. I liked the idea, and one evening, I forced myself to do it, and that was one of my first steps towards walking on the path of dreams.
Doing the life audit allowed me to bring all the different goals, focuses, and responsibilities. It allowed me to dump everything onto small stickies so I could see what mattered to me. It was a wake-up call for me. Time was flowing away; I was stuck. I only had excuses to show for my failures.
Once I had the life audit done, I did start taking some steps to improve my life and go after my dreams, but I was still struggling. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t take consistent action after having a roadmap, skills, and motivation. I thought I was motivated, and didn’t everyone say motivation is what you need, so why wasn’t it working for me. Then one day, while reading, I came across a few words that stuck with me.
Lack of motivation is usually a symptom of a lack of confidence.
That’s when I started realizing; I wasn’t motivated. I thought I was motivated. Why wasn’t I inspired? Because deep down, I lacked confidence. I lacked confidence in myself and my skills. This lack of confidence was the culprit. This was the disease that was sabotaging all my plans and roadmaps. It was there all the time, but I couldn’t spot it as it’s very clever and lies deep within the subconscious. When I realized it, I now knew the disease; I could only see the symptoms before that. I had another pop up when I cured one because the real illness was still there, untouched, growing more potent with each passing moment.
Lack of confidence is very potent. It affects all segments of your life. It’s even more dangerous because most of the time, you don’t even feel it. You think you’re okay, confident, and can handle situations. You shrug off those feelings of nervousness, thinking they are just momentary feelings. In reality, that’s the monster, feeding off those moments, getting more powerful each time you shrug it off and don’t confront it. It took me a long time to catch this monster, but once it was uncovered, it was feeble.
Lack of confidence affects all your actions very subtly. Sometimes it’s so subtle you barely notice it. You attribute it to lack of motivation, not being prepared, not being ready, and hundreds of other excuses. Lack of confidence never wants the spotlight on it. It knows how weak it is and can’t afford the spotlight being held on its head. It knows that if it’s discovered, it will die.
Once I discovered the real culprit, I started working on my confidence. It wasn’t easy, and I still lack confidence in many areas even after working on it for so long. The solution isn’t to completely defeat this monster; the solution is to overcome it. The answer is learning how to overcome the lack of confidence and use it when you need it to ensure you’re well prepared and have all your things in order.
How do I make sure I overcome this monster daily? I keep a list of all my successes and failures by journaling everything. Making sure I’m learning from them, so subconsciously I start pushing the lack of confidence out. I know that I’ve been successful, so I must know shit. I know I’ve failed, but I’ve now learned from them. So yea, I know shit, and I’m sure whatever comes in the future, I can handle it. As Chloe used to say to Lucifer, “You’ll figure it out,” hell yeah, I’ll figure it out, you fucking lack of confidence, monster.
What’s your monster?